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Hate,
ridicule, sarcasm, jealousy, belittling humor, and bullying are despicable,
centuries-old characteristics of human behavior. Hate is the fountain from which the others
flow; hate seems to be an indelible part of our nature. The Germans even have a
word for wallowing in hate and enjoying the misfortunes of others—schadenfreude.
In 1826 American
writer William Hazlitt wrote The Pleasure
of Hating. He asserts:
“The
pleasure of hating, like a poisonous mineral, eats into the heart of religion,
and turns it to rankling spleen and bigotry; it makes patriotism an excuse for
carrying fire, pestilence, and famine into other lands: it leaves to virtue
nothing but the spirit of censoriousness, and a narrow, jealous, inquisitorial
watchfulness over the actions and motives of others.”
Hazlitt’s
words struck me deeply following the death of a close friend’s daughter. In
high school, that daughter was subjected to intense ridicule because of her
appearance and because she was Jewish. Her classmates teased her, mocked her
and gave her a name—The Frog.
It stuck.
A couple of
years before her recent death at age 69, she asked her only grandchild to call
her Nana Frog. A talented and
tormented woman, she fought many demons and never recovered from the bullying
and ridicule she endured.
Her family
gave me a copy of her poetry. In it I found:
LIFE AS A FROG
Sometimes I dream
Of being a frog –
A Jewish frog in search
Of kosher bugs.
Other frogs
Wouldn’t call me names
Or tell me that
I killed their god.
Even if I was
A different shade of green
I would be
Another frog.
Rest in
peace Nana frog. Frogs are beautiful;
they are one of god’s wondrous creatures.
