Michael Pohle, Jr. was killed at Virginia
Tech. His father, Michael Pohle, Sr., writes the followinG about his son:
“Hopefully, you will be able to get a little
glimpse into what life with him was all about once you read this.
“It seems like just yesterday that Mike was
taken from us. His smile, infectious laugh, and compassion for others will
always be part of our memories. We are blessed to have two beautiful children
whom we love dearly and who are also gifts from God that we will cherish, and
protect, for the rest of our lives. We will also, unfortunately, never be
whole. It has been said that there is nothing as painful as the loss of a
child. That is true. Part of your soul and your reason for being leaves with
the death of a child. We will always have to live with an emptiness that is
impossible to fill. At times, Mike’s murder and his absence are very difficult
on our remaining children. Nikki and Sean feel that they have to live up to the
standard their dead brother set. No
matter what you say to them, there is an expectation that cannot be fulfilled
nor should it be. A tragedy like this can tear a family apart, but it is only
as a family that we can continue on. Mike’s death changed our family. It
changes any family; but even with that we will continue to survive and love
each other more each day.
“Mike faced some tough times growing up like
every child does, but, never let life get him down for long. He always had a
positive outlook. Growing up, he endured teasing and ridicule at a young age
because of a speech problem, yet, he refused to let that define him. Teresa and
I felt horrible at the way he was treated and like any parent tried to do
whatever we could so that it would stop. Mike not only overcame his difficulties,
he loved trying different things such as being in the Cub Scouts, playing the
guitar, earning a black belt in karate, and playing sports. From elementary
school through middle school he played soccer, basketball, baseball, and
lacrosse. Once he entered high school he decided to try out for the football
team, and stayed with that and lacrosse for the next four years. He continued
to play lacrosse at Virginia Tech and truly loved that experience. One of the
things Mike was known for during his high school and college years, both in the
classroom and on the field, was his drive to do his best and his commitment to
his fellow students and his team.
“His compassion for others was reinforced for
us the night prior to his funeral service at the wake we held so that people
could come and pay their respects. We were in such awe at the hundreds of
people who came to say goodbye. What touched us even more was the number of
mothers and fathers who we had never known prior to the wake that actually
thanked us for what Mike had done for their children. They told us stories of
how their children had seemed so lost and alone in a high school of over 3,000
kids, yet, even though Mike didn’t know them he reached out to their son or
daughter because he remembered how alone he felt when he was the target of
jokes and didn’t feel like he had any friends. That touched our hearts so much
and made us extremely proud even with our pain. That was the exact same
behavior Mike took with him when he went to Virginia Tech.
“On April 16th, from the moment
Mike’s sister, Nicki, and I arrived in Blacksburg late in the afternoon after
hearing of the mass shootings in the news and not being able to reach Mike, we
desperately tried to get any information we could to find out where he was, without
any success. As the hours passed, our fears grew and we started to think the
unthinkable, but never gave up hope nor stopped trying to find him. Even in the
chaos, with thousands of people moving about, you knew that some of those
individuals walking around were also families trying to find their child just
like us. In New Jersey, Mike’s Aunt Liz and a number of our closest friends
were at our home doing whatever they could to help my wife Teresa while praying
that nothing had happened to him. Teresa had stayed home to keep us abreast of
what was happening, and also with the expectation that Mike would call at any
minute saying he was OK in a school of over 26,000 students. I called at
different times to let Teresa know that we didn’t know anything, both during
the time I was driving and once I had arrived. It was not until around 11:00
p.m., while sitting in a room with Nicki and a group of Mike’s friends at the
hotel on Virginia Tech’s campus, that we were told that Mike was dead. Our
hearts stopped at that instant. I then moved to the most secluded section of
the room we were in and called home to give Teresa the news.
“There are no words that can describe that
moment in our lives. Our souls were ripped apart. I don’t remember what was
said, nor do I remember much of anything. The rest of the night was spent
awake, crying and yelling, in Mike’s apartment. Someone stayed with Teresa
constantly and more friends, and our priest, came to the house starting the
next morning.
“Mike was “big brother” to Nicki and his
younger brother Sean. He was four years older than Nicki and ten years older
than Sean. Mike watched over them and always made sure they were OK. He was
protective of Nicki especially when it came to dating other boys and would make
sure they knew he was watching over her. At times, she may not have seemed very
pleased with her older brother getting involved in her social life, but, the
reality was that she felt very good knowing that Mike would always be there for
her. When she went off to college at
West Virginia, Mike was still at Virginia Tech and they stayed in close contact
with each other, constantly joking about who would win the football game
between the two schools. The football rivalry was one of the many things they
talked about. The last year that Virginia Tech and West Virginia played each
other in football we decided it would be fun if our family met in Morgantown to
be together and enjoy the game. I remember what a beautiful day it was and
there were thousands of West Virginia fans all around us wearing their jerseys
as we tailgated. Teresa and I were each wearing two shirts, one on top of the
other. The outer shirt was West Virginia colors and the inner shirt was
Virginia Tech colors. Mike, on the other hand, was walking through the crowd
proudly wearing his Virginia Tech jersey and hat while chanting “Let’s Go
Hokies,” all the while making sure he was staying real close to his sister who
was wearing her West Virginia colors, but, trying to get as far from her
brother as she could. Although one might think that what Mike was doing in the
midst of thousands of loyal home team fans was a recipe for disaster, everyone
realized that what was going on was all in good fun and enjoyed the moment.
There were also times where Mike and Nicki would fight like cats and dogs, but,
through it all they had a bond of love that was very strong. On April 16th,
after hearing the news of the shootings and not being able to reach her brother
at Tech, Nicki didn’t think twice and immediately began to drive 5 ½ hours to
Blacksburg to find him. There was no hesitation because it could involve Mike.
She arrived in Blacksburg a couple hours ahead of me and kept us updated on her
efforts to find him. Along with Mike’s girlfriend Marcy, and his other friends,
they began to contact the local hospitals in the area to see where he might be
since he was nowhere to be found.
“Sean saw Mike as not only his mentor, but,
actually thought of him as his hero. Given their age difference, Sean never
really saw how Mike had been treated when he was very young, but, he was his
biggest fan in high school. Sean loved going to Mike’s games where he would see
his brother on the field and his sister, a cheerleader, on the sidelines. Sean
tried every sport that Mike had played, yet that was not where his real passion
lay. Although Sean didn’t realize it then, Mike was his biggest fan. One of
many memorable moments in Sean’s youth sports career happened during his first
exposure to lacrosse. Sean was about seven years old and the referee for his
game was not able to make it. To his surprise, his big brother Mike was asked
if he would referee the game instead. Of course Mike said he would, but, the
surprise that made us all laugh was that Mike had to blow the whistle for a
foul and make Sean go to the penalty box for one minute. What was precious was
watching Sean, again seven years old, walk up to Mike and look up at his big
brother and ask him why he was putting his brother in the penalty box, to which
Mike replied “I am so sorry Sean,” gave him a hug, and they walked together to
where Sean had to stand for his penalty time. When Sean was allowed back into
the game the two of them hugged and everything was good. It was just a special
moment. Mike and Sean were buddies. They would spend time together from
watching cartoons to doing homework to just running around together.”
* *
*
When looking at the missteps at Virginia
Tech, and the willingness of school officials to turn a blind eye toward the
facts and even spread false information to cover their tracks, Mike’s father
was right when he said, “People just don’t care anymore about responsibility
and duty.” I would add, that some Virginia Tech officials and state politicians
pursued and promoted out-and-out lies with an unusually high degree of
callousness; they intentionally investigated the Tech massacre in a way to
prevent any repercussions on the school or its employees. They suffered from
collective memory loss, and when speaking apparently could not tell the truth
without lying. (To be continued)
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